On Becoming a Better Writer

Now, I am, by no means, the best writer in the world nor do I claim to be — I don’t think I am even half there. There are still so much room for improvement, learning, and more practice.

Writing, for me, is not only a hobby that I cannot let go of but my way of pouring out my thoughts and feelings. I find it therapeutic; the way it helps me clear my mind and make me feel like someone is listening even though I am only facing this blank, white page that will soon be filled with my words. Continue reading

Fighting Monsters & Saving Myself

How does one really find the courage to write about their mental breakdowns and anxieties? How do other people really make it go away?

I thought I was doing good; this always happens to me. One day I feel perfectly okay, I go on like that for days — months even. Then suddenly I encounter something that stresses me out and it just comes back without any warning. Sometimes, it’s just the little things that upsets me so much I end up making all these fucked up scenarios in my head and the loop starts all over again.

Writing about this, I feel like I am showing a part of me that I don’t really acknowledge all that much. A part of me that I’ve been dealing with for so long; battles that I’ve been fighting alone for years.

So, why am I really writing about this now? I think I came across something that triggered it today; I wouldn’t go into detail but I was very upset I needed to force myself to stop shaking. It hasn’t been as intense as that in quite a while.

But this post is not about what triggered me, but about how I would like to give myself a pat on the back for not breaking down even though I feel like all my insides are shaking. I would like to give myself credit fo trying so hard to be okay all throughout the day. It was like I spent the whole day fighting all those monsters; keeping myself occupied, just so I wouldn’t have to overthink.

I’m all alone inside my room now, and instead of dwelling into things that I cannot change, I just focus on how I managed the day and how I can win this constant battle against my thoughts.

A Year of You

July: I have known you for almost a year before my heart realized that it was you that was missing in my life. With you, it was never like the love at first sight kind of love; it was more like walking into a place I’ve never been but instantly felt like I was home.

August: It was in between whispers, laughter, and genuine smiles when I first heard you say you love me out loud. I could literally hear your heart beat faster and faster and all I came up with was a smile. Little did you know that I kept wishing that moment never had to end.

September: I once had a dream where I was at the beach, just enjoying the fresh air and beautiful view. As I was walking along the shoreline, I saw something moving in the sea — it was you. It was such a weird dream given that we don’t talk all that much before, but you were swimming towards me and I didn’t know what it meant at the time until the day I saw you in a different light.

October: A few months ago, I ran out of motivation to push forward and do better; I used to drag myself out of bed and convince myself that I still have a purpose. But then you came and I’ve never felt that alive in a long, long time.

November: I feel like I am always in a grand adventure when I’m with you; not just because you liked going out and exploring so many places, but even when we’re sitting beside each other sharing our dreams and how we’ll one day take over the world. It was an entirely different planet, an entirely different universe, and the best part of it is that we’re the only ones in it.

December: It was the holidays and I wanted to be with you so bad I wanted to tear the whole world apart for being so unfair, but you were always such a ray of sunshine with all the positivity that you impose which made me realize the brighter side of things; that knowing that you’re mine and I am yours is enough for the meantime.

January: There are days when I felt like I am drowning, but being the swimmer that you are, you always save me even from the monsters inside my head.

February: I received a very pink boquet of roses, and I never liked receiving flowers until it came from you. You were always so thoughtful and sweet and loving, I wanted to hug you forever.

March: It was my birthday and you surprised me with one of the books I’ve been eyeing whenever we visit a bookstore and you were so worried that I wouldn’t like it. Oh, you were so adorable, you didn’t know that just one of those tight hugs would be good enough a gift.

April: We spend almost everyday with each other but I still can’t get enough of you.

May: It was somewhere near our anniversary that I suddenly felt fear because I know that I wouldn’t be able to live the same way if everything turned out differently in the end; I never want to lose you.

June: We spent 10 days out of the country and I never really cared how beautiful all those places were because all that mattered to me was being with you.

My life has been so colorful since you came, I have no words to describe the feeling you give me. You are such a wonderful blessing, I could never thank you enough for simply existing and crossing paths with me. I love you, always.

Anilao, Batangas: Camp Netanya

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Just a two to three-hour drive away from Manila’s busy streets is the province of Batangas which is known for its many beaches and excellent diving spots; and situated in one of Batangas’ popular towns is this Santorini-inspired resort that is famous for its aesthetically pleasing domes and interior.

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Dustypromises is now a dot-com!

I can still remember vividly the first time I signed up for Blogger ⁠— it was almost the summer of my sophomore year in high school and I was just plain bored, but I ended up not writing anything there at all. Then, sometime in 2009, I found out about Tumblr. Again, I signed up using eyesthatsparkle as my blog name (because When You Look Me In the Eyes by Jonas Brothers was still my favorite song at the time) but eventually changed it to dustypromises on the same year. Here’s a little secret: I always find it hard to think of a cool username for each of my accounts; so when I felt comfortable with dustypromises, I never changed my blog name ever.

It was also back in 2009 when I discovered bloggers like Kryz Uy, Tricia Gosingtian, and Laureen Uy who are now considered pioneers in the blogosphere ⁠— I’ve wanted to get my own domain ever since. So I continued blogging and I cannot count the number of times I researched on domains, where to get one, how much would it cost, should I opt for hosting, etc. Maybe hundreds of times or so, but who am I kidding? I was still a student, even saving up for birthday presents for family and friends were a struggle at the time.

But today is a game-changer ⁠— to celebrate my 10 years in the blogosphere, I am excited (and very happy) to announce that Dustypromises is now a dot-com! After literally a decade of dreaming of a domain, I finally purchased one for my blog!

P.S. I would like to thank and send virtual hugs and kisses to my ever supportive boyfriend for helping me make this decade-long dream come true ⁠— from transferring all my content from Tumblr to WordPress to choosing and customizing my theme to finally getting my very own domain. Thank you and I love you!

P.P.S. I am still working on my logo. So I apologize for my photo being constantly displayed whenever I share my blog posts on Twitter, Facebook, etc.

#BannedBooksWeek: The Freedom to Read Without Censorship

Books are one of the known sources of entertainment, learning, and changing of perspectives. With that, some books have also been labeled as controversial by different organizations which resulted in some titles continuously being challenged and banned in libraries and schools in other countries. Continue reading

Stuff I’ve Been Reading Lately #1

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BOOKS READ:

  • Origin by Dan Brown
  • Tokyo Ghoul Volume 4 by Sui Ishida
  • GYO by Junji Ito

BOOKS BOUGHT:

  • Tokyo Ghoul Volume 4 by Sui Ishida
  • The Luxe by Anna Godbersen
  • Alienated by Melissa Landers

Since I recently moved here from Tumblr, I decided to launch a new series as an opening entry in WordPress. I’m never really good at introductions, may it be in print or in person, so let me just start with this:

I was at a local secondhand bookshop one Sunday morning with my cousin and while we were browsing through the shelves, I came across this book by Nick Hornby which gave me an amazing idea for my blog: A new series. It’s been a while since I last introduced a new series here, and I haven’t really been consistent either. So, I hope this one works.

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Bookstore Tour: Singapore & Malaysia

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My boyfriend and I along with his mom went on this trip in June, and I wasn’t really sure I was going to join them until the last minute and I only thought about visiting bookstores when we were actually there. Thank heavens for the Internet!

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Book Review: Wicked Fox (Gumiho, #1) by Kat Cho

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Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Maybe it’s wrong for us to hold any one person as our whole world. Maybe it’s wrong of us to owe all of our happiness or sadness to one person.”

I finished reading this book early last month and I just finished writing my review about it. Now, where to start? Well, for one, I totally enjoyed reading this book. It’s about a girl who kills people in order to survive and a boy who was trapped in the forest and was captured by a dokkaebi. Ironically, the girl saves his life and both their worlds has never been the same since.

I’m not really that into K-drama, so I can’t say that I’ve been waiting for a book of this kind like everyone else. But I do love mythology of all sorts, so when I heard about this urban fantasy-romance book, I thought, “Why not?” And I ended up loving it more than I thought I would. All I can say is that for a debut novel, this has the makings of an awesome story. It’s a light, fun, fast-paced read that will surely keep you turning its pages. I can’t wait for the next book in the series.

Many thanks to Penguin Random House for providing an ARC of this book. ♡

Malaysia Day 4: Last Day

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I don’t think I already mentioned in my previous posts that our trip was originally just until the 25th of June, but sometime during May, we were informed that there were no scheduled flights on that date, so our flight back home was re-scheduled on the 27th instead. So, on our last day, we decided to wake up a little later than usual because we were all too exhausted from the previous days. We didn’t have anything on our itinerary, anyways.

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