Two.

Posted on 08/08/2020 by Lenn

Here’s an attempt at writing our story. I’m not really sure where or how to even begin with this post — How did we really begin?

As I have mentioned in all of my previous blog entries, I found you when I wasn’t even looking for anything or anyone for that matter. You were just there — someone I know by name and someone who I casually have small talks with whenever we ran into each other. It has always been like that between us and nothing more.

Thinking about it now, I can’t believe that just a couple of years ago, you weren’t even part of my life. It feels weird because I feel like I’ve known you forever. Looking back at those days, I can’t really tell when I started developing these feelings for you. There were just no signs — no anything. It just kind of happened.

I remember your birthday back in 2018 when I greeted you a few days early because your birthday fell on a weekend. I vividly remember you telling me to greet you again on your birthday, and I did send you a message via Messenger. The following day was a work day, and you dropped by my work station to give me some gummy worms. Casually, I asked you what it was for and you said that it was your birthday. I honestly didn’t know what to say because you really didn’t have to, so I managed a “thank you.”

I think our conversations frequented after that. It was supposed to be just friendly conversations, given that we both arrive early in the office. It was really nice having someone to talk to early in the morning. I guess, some time during those conversations, something just clicked — I couldn’t say when it all changed, but it did. I used to find myself looking at you from across the room and a lot of the time you were already staring back at me.

I knew I was in love when you started reading one of my favorite book series, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and my stomach made a double-flip. It was the butterflies, as most people would call it. I just couldn’t stop talking about it, so you told me you were going to read it. It was just the sweetest thing.

Fast forward to 2020 and we’ve been through so much and created a lot of memories together. I know I told you this already, but being with you was the most alive I’ve felt in my 26 years of existence. You made me look at the world in a different angle — I know I still sometimes fail at doing so, but you always manage to get your point through, that everything in this world is all about perspective. It’s hard to do so sometimes when I feel like I am trapped (you know what I mean), but you always try your best to change my take on the world.

Thank you for making my life worthwhile and for bringing out the best in me. Happy anniversary, babe. I will always love you. ♡

Eureka! Moment #5: BeautyMNL

Posted on 06/29/2020 by Lenn

Hey, everyone! It’s that time of the month again where I feature some of the things that I discovered in the past month that I totally loved or that made my life a bit easier. So for this month, I’ll be talking about the beauty of shopping at BeautyMNL.

Since the quarantine started, it’s been really hard to buy some of the stuff that I need, especially some of my favorite skincare products. So after a while, once couriers were allowed to operate again, I started installing applications where I can buy the products that I use and BeautyMNL is one of them. What’s great is that some of the products that they are selling are discounted!

After a month of not being able to go outside, the stocks that I have of my favorite skincare products have ran really low. Here is my latest beauty haul:

I restocked my ultimate favorites:

And bought some products that I’ve been seeing in the internet that looks so good:

It’s my first time trying the last three products on my list and I am so in love with Mads Essential’s coffee scrub and RiRe’s All Kill Blackhead Remover Stick. The coffee scrub smells so good, like a combination of coffee and chocolate! The All-Kill Blackhead Remover Stick, on the other hand, is really effective. I’ve been using it for over three weeks now, and my blackheads are almost non-visible. As for the Watermelon Shocker, I personally think it’s pricey for its size. It smells really good, though.

Anyway, BeautyMNL offers a lot of other items, too. Like vitamins, organic food, etc. If you’re planning on purchasing from BeautyMNL any time soon, please be reminded that most of their products easily run out of stocks as a lot of people are buying from them, too. You can add the products on in your wishlist and wait for a notification that it has been restocked and make sure to check your notification regularly!

Are you familiar with the products that I’ve mentioned? How did it go for you? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

JNVQ Diaries: A Love Letter

Posted on 06/24/2020 by Lenn

Babe,

Happy quarantine birthday! Who would’ve thought that this year would turn out this way? We have so many plans for this year, and I can still remember vividly how we’ve been arguing on how to spend my birthday before the quarantine was imposed. That was in March, it’s been three months and we’re now celebrating your birthday but we still haven’t seen each other since. It’s really frustrating because I miss you so bad. But as I’ve said in my birthday post, we have to be strong while being apart right now, so we can spend a lot of birthdays together in the future.

I know it’s hard celebrating at a time like this, but I hope you enjoy your cake and my not-so-surprise birthday gift that we’ve been talking about for weeks! Haha! I don’t like to be all that cheesy, but I want you to know that I will always love you and you will always be the best decision that I have made for my entire life. I am still happy that I’ve chosen to be with you and I will keep choosing you. I knew you were the right one because you never tolerated my immaturity during my red days even when we argue about it most of the time. I really do appreciate it because you are helping become a better version of myself.

I would also like to thank you for always being the stronger person in our relationship, I know that there are times when you also feel down because, hey, you’re also human. Yet, you always put me first by trying to appear strong for me and I will always appreciate you for that even if it may not look like so. I would also like you to know that I appreciate your patience and selflessness when it comes to understanding my overthinking, I know it’s also hard for you, but you always manage to help me through my episodes.

With all that, I wish you all the blessings that you deserve. I am looking forward to more adventures throughout the years with you. Thank you for making me feel the most alive I’ve been in 26 years. You are the greatest thrill and adventure of my life.

Thank you for your existence.

I love you.

Yours for always,
Lenn

You Are What Matters

Posted on 04/20/2020 by Lenn

“I saw that my life was a vast glowing empty page and I could do anything I wanted.” – Jack Kerouac

We’re kind of iffy when it comes to exploring things out of our comfort zone. What makes it a problem is that most of us would rather stick with the same familiar pain that have been hurting us for quite a long time. We settle for the pain that we’ve been trying to fix rather than just dive into a foreign one where new things await us — maybe with even lesser pain. Most of the time we’re overthinking about how we don’t want to mess things up — crowding our minds with the thought that we might be making the wrong decision or for most of us, we’re all just afraid of not being able to meet the standards that were built for us by other people — family, society, and friends.

Almost two years ago, I was bound to make a decision that will change a big part of my life. I was so eager to choose what I know is best for me and what I know for sure will make me happy, and that’s exactly what I did regardless of what other people might think of me. It wasn’t a very smooth journey and there were a lot of rough times, but up to this day, it is still one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

There are still other situations where it’s really hard to get it inside our minds to stop overthinking and just go for what we feel is right. Of course, it has always been easier said than done when we’re choosing between what we’ve grown too accustomed to and something entirely new. Personally, there were some situations in my life recently where I’ve been trying to tell myself that I shouldn’t care what these people think. A cornucopia of thoughts keep flooding up my mind and it’s not really mentally healthy anymore — these people tend to make me compare myself with someone else as if that person is the “standards” that I have to meet when I know for a fact that I am capable of doing way better. I know for sure that I am also capable of being the best person that I can be.

To be honest, I will never be like the person they prefer, because I know that in my own little ways, I am better and I am slowly trying to make as much progress in my life so that I can one day turn into the person I’ve always wanted to be; not what they think I should be. It’s okay to never meet someone’s standards, we don’t live for them anyways.

I know that there are days when we feel so down that no matter how many times a day we tell ourselves that we got this and that we are better than what they think — that they shouldn’t matter, at the back of my mind, it still does and it sucks that we’re having a hard time burying those thoughts away. I truly want to set myself free of all the chains that are preventing me to move forward but I also know that it takes time to rid myself of the poison in my head.

Slowly, that day will come, one step at a time. I just need to keep reminding myself that there are so many ways to live, and if I continue letting these people pull me down, I will end up in the pits of somewhere I don’t belong to. Sometimes our prison is our own mind, but please take some time to think things through and realize that we shouldn’t let these negative thoughts slow us down.

So to everyone feeling the same way, please always remember that there is so much beauty in each day. Free yourself of the prison that is your mind. May we all emancipate ourselves from this. We’ll all get through this.

Love in the Time of Corona

Posted on 04/17/2020 by Lenn

In the past four weeks, the digital screens have taken over the world.

It was five weeks ago when the government enforced the community quarantine in my area, but to most of us, it already feels like a lifetime ago. Most of our usual activities like meetings, lunch dates, happy hours, and even play dates have been reduced through the digital screens.

Continue reading →

Our Common Ground: Hope

Posted on 04/13/2020 by Lenn

It is in situations like this that we find beauty in the things that we used to take for granted — in things that were once present and constant. The irony of it all is that we, human beings, become so used to our surroundings that we tend to fail at appreciating the beauty that behold us. This pandemic is a huge reminder that we should give importance to the little things in our life because everything could be taken away from us in one fell swoop.

This situation made me realize how much I miss Makati; its streets that are usually packed with cars, the sidewalks that are filled with people rushing to work, the coffee shops that have long lines, the malls that I was so used to roam around during lunch breaks with my boyfriend and a lot more.

But amidst this pandemic, I know that there is hope. A desperate feeling within our hearts — our hearts that are eager to do something, to go places, and to start anew. An invisible contract within our souls to start living a better life because it is never too late to start over.

What I Wore #6: On Most Days, I Wear Pink

Posted on 04/01/2020 by Lenn

For those of you who have visited or stumbled upon my blog at least once or twice, you probably noticed that I have a soft spot for the color pink. It’s been my favorite ever since I was a kid and I have never really outgrown my love for it, even today (obviously). Most of my things are pink, even the walls of my room and my door. Continue reading →

26 Titles Since Year 1

Posted on 03/28/2020 by Lenn

Photo taken by: JNVQ

It’s my birthday today, and this quarantine kind of sucks because I can’t celebrate it with the one person I would have loved to spend it with but I just keep in mind that this is all for the best. We need to stay separated for a while now, so that we can spend more birthdays together in the future.

For the past couple of years, I’ve been doing blog posts about the lessons I’ve learned in my x number of years here on Earth. This year, I thought that maybe I could tweak the concept a little because to be honest, I’m running out of lessons to take note of. Not that I do not learn new things anymore, but it’s just so hard to jot them down year after year. Also, to be honest, I feel like most of the lessons I write were carried over from the past year. So yeah, that concept kinda gets boring in time.

Continue reading →

Eureka! Moment #2: Book Shields

Posted on 03/23/2020 by Lenn

I am not really a fan of e-books and audio books because of the following reasons:

I love the scent of physical books.
I enjoy flipping through a book’s pages.
For e-books, I honestly get a migraine when I’m reading from my phone. Don’t get me wrong, I do e-copies of books sometimes, especially when a certain book that I want to read is not available in the Philippines. I just prefer physical copies.
As for audio books, I just don’t get the hang of it yet. I tried, and it’s just not working for me. I usually end up falling asleep. It’s just not the same as “reading.”

As a reader who prefers to read physical books, I always bring a book with me wherever I go. You know, just in case I get some free time or I get bored. Through the years, I have come to the realization that my books get easily damaged inside my bag (e.g., it gets a few dents or folds) and it frustrates me sometimes because no matter how I put it inside my back, it always ends up getting damaged. Continue reading →

What I Wore #5: Of Floral Prints & Summer

Posted on 03/20/2020 by Lenn

I’ve been following Farrah Espina for a couple of years now, and she has become one of my favorite influencers recently (in addition to Tricia Gosingtian and Kryz Uy). I find her so adorable with her kawaii look and her fashion sense. She’s also a bit kalog in some of her IG stories!

So why am I talking about her as an introduction for this post? Well, she just happened to post a photo of one of her Sunday outfits and she was at Greenbelt 5 in Makati City. And I am always there during weekdays as my office is just around the corner. Continue reading →

Lenn of Spades ♠

Tag Archives: lifestyle