Farewell, Tito Aries

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Yesterday was such a shock to all of us. We lost a very good friend, an awesome person and a strong, undaunted investigative reporter.

I have always looked up to you for being so fearless when it comes to knowing the truth. I have always loved writing but when I met you and learned the way you write your articles and reports, I’ve been much more eager to be just like you. It was just too bad that I didn’t take up Journalism.

You were such a blessing to everyone around you. You were always willing to help in every way you can, you’d go out of your way when one of your friends needs someone to talk to, you’re truly one of a kind. You were such a good person and I guess, it’s true that good people go to heaven early.

You’re only 45, so, so young. Death stole you too soon. You’re still having the time of your life, we’re still learning from everything you impart. Everyone misses you already, Tito Aries.

We went to your wake this afternoon. The first time I looked at you inside the coffin, I was still hoping that everyone would start laughing and tell me that this was all a bad joke, but none of it ever happened. You’re really gone. When I was about to turn my back on you and walk towards the nearest chair, for a second, for a split second I thought your lips curled into a smile and that immediately made me look at you again. You looked as if you were just sleeping and playing a big bad joke on us. My mom, beside me, said, “Aries, gising na. Ang haba na ng tulog mo.” And again, for a split second I thought your eyes moved a bit and if I was in a different person’s wake, I would literally run out, screaming, but with you, I didn’t get scared. I actually wanted you to wake up. I really wanted to believe that you were just sleeping but you weren’t. Everyday, I would have to convince myself that you are gone…

I know you’re going to be safe and happy up there, but it just hurts to lose someone like you. But with all that being said, I thank you for being one of my strongest inspiration when it comes to writing. Thank you for simply existing. Everyone who knew you are blessed. This isn’t goodbye, we’ll see you again in the next lifetime, Tito Aries! And while we’re waiting, when you finally get to heaven, please write a story of how beautiful it is in person. I’ll read it when I get there! Have a safe trip to heaven, Tito! ❤

Source: dustypromises

The Last

Posted on 08/30/2015 by Lenn

Writing has always been some sort of emotional therapy for me. And so I believe that writing these feelings down can ease whatever I am feeling right now.

I’ve always believed in second chances and maybe that was the reason why I chose to work things out with you last year. Now that I know the truth, looking back at everything, I realized that maybe not everyone deserves a second chance. Maybe it should only be given to someone who is sincere and determined to make things right. I was so stupid to ever think that you could still change. You are hopeless.

Honestly, I just regret wasting another year on someone who didn’t even deserve to be forgiven in the first place. I should’ve listened to everyone before, I shouldn’t have settled for less. Your words remained words. Well, I guess, what do I expect from someone like you? I knew I didn’t deserve to be treated that way, no girl deserves to, but I was stupid because of everything you said. Now I know that guys like you aren’t to be trusted.

To make things clear, I am not hurt because I still love you. Damn, no. I’m done with that, I’m hurt because people like you take advantage of other people who did nothing but love and fight for you and quite frankly, what I feel towards you are more of anger and disgust than love and pity. It’s been almost two months since that day, I never messaged or called you after the first two days. I got so fed up of you doing that to me that I finally learned how to deal with it. I didn’t chase you anymore because I was so fucking tired of doing that. I used to do that, but surprise, surprise, I grew the fuck up and realized my worth. I tried my hardest to move on but you were the one who kept calling and leaving random messages. And that, I admit, confused me a bit. But with everything that I found out last night, well, it just proved how much of an asshole you are.

You are a living and walking hell and I am so sorry for anyone who will ever love you in the future. One thing I know is that I am glad that you’re finally out of my life. I am finally free and I can finally be happy. I never truly believed that letting go was the easiest way out, until today.

You were asking for my forgiveness but you never for one bit thought of how fucking big the damage you’ve caused have been? You are a self-centered bastard and I can’t believe that I loved someone like you. I don’t know you anymore. You turned into a fucking monster and now you don’t know how to change it.

From this day on, I promise to put myself first. Call me selfish but I’ve been putting others first for far too long and all I earned from doing that was deep scars and bruises from bullets that were fired by the exact person I was trying to save and protect. It’s time to put myself first, it’s time to save myself from the monster and the nightmare that is you.

This serves as the last and final letter I will write about you and for you. You don’t deserve that power over me anymore.

I AM SO DONE, GOOD BYE.

Saturday Getaway!

Posted on 10/22/2014 by Lenn

Last Saturday, I woke up late since it’s kind of the only rest I’ve had in weeks. I was about to order McDelivery when my Aunt called me and asked me if I wanted to come with them for lunch. And of course, being the “Tita’s girl” that I am, I went with them! Plus, I love being around my baby cousins.

We went to Nuvali and ate at Buffalo’s Wings and Things. I wasn’t able to take a picture of the food though, we were all too hungry for that! Hahahaha. But it was all good, except for the flavor of the chicken fingers my aunt chose. Lol. Loved their blue cheese sauce, though!

What I took a picture of though, was the dessert! “The” NY Cheesecake Ice Cream! It was freakingly and gushingly heavenly!

And then we just roamed around since my cousins has only been there twice. We rode the boat thingy and fed fishes!! I felt like I was a kid again. Heehee

And then we ate at Starbucks before we left! Heehee

Well, that’s it! 🙂 Used my extra time to update and post this family lunch date with them. ♥

Posted on 09/26/2014 by Lenn

My greatest frustration about myself is that I never really know how to control my feelings. When I love you, I love you all the way. It’s like, I always wear my heart on my sleeve for people to see and throw the most beautiful words possible for me to get too attached and when I do, they suddenly turn into a whole different person and I am left shattered and hopeless, gasping for air and love that I once thought was there.

And the worst part? Heartbreak after heartbreak, I still fall for the same cycle, the same scenario in hopes that maybe, just maybe, this one’s different. But they never really are.

Posted on 07/10/2014 by Lenn

Beautifully written articles are my inspiration to chase after my dream of inspiring the world with my thoughts. I just love stumbling over a blog with great content, and having to read how they started always gives me hope that one day my dream will come true.

I may not have taken up journalism, nor will I be one of the greatest journalist and/or writer, but having to inspire people with this blog will always be enough for me.

Posted on 01/28/2014 by Lenn

For so long, I kept myself away from people. I forced myself to keep everything bottled up inside for somewhere along the way, I lost it. I stopped trusting people because I don’t know who the real ones are anymore. They keep hiding behind their masks.

I learned to keep everything to myself. To just sleep through the night with all these thoughts, with all the monsters in my head. I swear it’s getting worse, the monsters are getting bigger and they keep feeding themselves with all the things inside my head. I don’t know, maybe I’ll keep losing it until there’s nothing left of me.

Goodbye, 2012

Posted on 12/31/2012 by Lenn

Another year is about to end, but that does not mean that it is the end of everything. In just a few hours 2012 will be part of our history. In 2013, do what you want to do for you, for your happiness and for the people you love. Make the best out of everything that goes along the way. Be what you want to be, change for the better, learn from the past and always be happy.

2012 has been one heck of a roller coaster ride to all of us. As for me, I have gained and lost things and people, I have learned how to cherish everything while I still have them. I have cried a river of tears, but I have collected an ocean of smiles and laughter. Whatever I have lost, I know that God has a purpose and He has a better plan for me. With all that, I am very much thankful to the Lord our God for all the blessings and challenges He has given me, I realized that He trusts me so much for giving me all those problems that I have encountered and now conquered.

Right now, I am ready for a fresh start. And I hope you guys are too! Let us all welcome 2013 and thank God for giving each of us another year to live and improve ourselves. Smile as 2013 unfolds in front of us. ♥

Happy New Year, readers.

#OnReading

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Reading is life, not a hobby.

For me, reading is an escape. It takes me to different places, it makes me drift off from where I am, which I literally hate. It gives me hope that someday I’ll be like the character in the story. It makes me fall in love with a character.

It makes me believe that everything is possible.

Source: dustypromises

Christmas 2012

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Hi! I just want to greet you guys a very Merry Christmas!

Let us all take a few moments to thank God for everything He has given us. For answering each of our prayers, for giving us life, for waking us up each day with the chance to improve ourselves in every way possible, for the blessings and most of all for His unconditional love which continuously gives us ♥

May God bless you and your families, my dearest readers. 🙂

Source: dustypromises

Add a text post.

Posted on 12/04/2012 by Lenn

In a span of a month or two, I have realized a lot about life. I realized that not everyone will understand you, sometimes you need to understand them as well. I learned that pleasing everyone all at once is pretty much impossible in a world like ours.

I have always wanted to patch things up. I mean, that was as soon as I realized that I have grown apart from the people I have loved. I have always wanted to fix and find the broken pieces. But for some reason, I found out that I did not only grew apart from them, but they have learned to dislike me, or maybe even hate. It wasn’t easy for me to have found that out at first. I have always thought that friendship is about talking things over, about understanding and patching things up. But I guess not.

No, I am not putting all the blame on them. Because I know that I am also at fault. The only thing that have hurt me─my feelings─is that they never tried to talk or ask me what happened to me. I will accept all the painful words if there ever will be, I honestly will. Just as long as they say it in front of me. To my face. Not through statuses or tweets. I want that more than what is currently happening. I have never said something against them behind their back, I have never posted a single thing against them online, because I thought everything was fine between us.

Perhaps, this is His way of making me realize everything, including my own mistakes. And to realize that I have earned better things despite the unbelievably turbulent events in my life. And that I have changed for the better, as to what the people around me have said. A lot of people have asked me why I didn’t do anything to defend myself, why I’ve let them broadcast stuff online but instead kept silent about it. I truly respect the friendship we once shared, and that is the main reason why I did not even try to defend or say something that I know will hurt them even when I know a lot.

I have never answered their tweets and statuses with another status or tweet because I know that it will only worsen the situation. But recently, I have had enough. It was just too much. I mean, this is not high school. If they have a problem with me, why include my other friends? My friends have always been quiet even when they have noticed that there is a problem. I don’t think that I can still at least try to understand anymore. I am tired of always being the one who tries to understand.

Lenn of Spades ♠

Tag Archives: life