The Dusty Diary #1

When I first started blogging, I used to write about my daily encounters with different things. My Tumblr blog used to be a diary of sorts and since this pandemic has been really affecting my mental health, I felt that I needed to write these kind of stuff again because writing my feelings down is therapeutic for me. I needed to take extra steps that I think will help me get through this, so here I am:

It has been nearly three months since the lockdown was imposed in my country, and despite forcing myself to stay positive amidst all this ⁠— well, this pandemic and quarantine really did take a toll on my mental health.

During the first couple of weeks, I was able to stay sane by focusing on work, reading books, and sometimes I even tried to learn new things (e.g., cooking and making dessert). I thought I had my anxiety under control, but as the days go by and as the quarantine period in my side of the world was extended and extended and extended, I found myself more and more anxious. I tried distracting myself by spending way too much time on online shops which resulted in, of course, me buying so many things like books and skincare products. For a while, I was really happy ⁠— receiving a package sort of  gives you that giddy feeling like receiving a gift on your birthday or on Christmas. It worked for a while, I felt happy whenever a package is delivered on our front door and I liked the thrill of opening it and, of course, using the products.

Again, I thought I had it under control, but last week, I’ve been having a hard time sleeping. I am tired and sleepy, but every time I try to close my eyes, my mind goes into a spiral of thoughts that I just can’t shake. I am overthinking again, and it seemed a lot worse than before this pandemic started. I’ve been thinking about the pandemic, the lockdown, my future, my stress from work and my deadlines ⁠— there were so many things running through my mind all at once that it felt like my head was going to crack open. I even came to a point where I cried and begged my mind to just stop thinking and just let me rest ⁠— I was so freaking restless.

Right now, I bought an over-the-counter medicine for some dosage of melatonin to help me sleep at night and I’ve also been drinking tea or milk before going to bed. I’ve been taking the meds for two days now, and so far, it’s helping me pretty well with my sleep though I’m still having occasional breakdowns during the day. I hope I get to cope up with all that is happening because having a mental breakdown at this time is so much harder.

I’ve also been constantly talking with my boyfriend and some of my friends about it, and most of them keep on telling me to just don’t overthink things as I do not have control over everything. I agree, I totally freaking agree, but the thing is, I just can’t force my mind to just stop thinking about everything. As I’ve mentioned, I even came to a point where I begged my mind to just stop ⁠— the noise in my head just don’t know how to stop. It sounds crazy, but it feels that way and I’ve been having intense headaches because of it. It’s so hard to deal with my anxiety, stress, and panic attacks when everything around me is stressing the hell out of me.

I hope that these baby steps like taking in dosages of melatonin, drinking tea/milk, and writing my heart out helps a bit with what I’m currently feeling because I don’t know what else to do.

Eureka! Moment #4: Skin Potions

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Hey! Welcome to another one of my Eureka! Moments blog posts. This month, I’m writing about some of Skin Potions Philippines’ products that I just started using a few days ago. It was recommended to me by a friend, so I did a couple of research with regard to the ingredients they use in their products, their background, and then I checked their Instagram account.

I just couldn’t help but spend a lot of time browsing through their Instagram feed because their products are so cute and girly! If you know me personally, I am all for cute stuff (it’s actually becoming a problem sometimes haha). Anyway, I was really undecided about what to order because I wanted to try everything! Like their micellar water and facial wash, but I’m already using other brands for those.

So what I did buy for myself from their online shop are these:

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Don’t they have the cutest packaging? My kawaii heart is so pleased. Anyway, the Glass Skin moisturizing anti-pimple cream smells so good, I’m addicted! When I woke up the morning after my first night of using the products, I took a selfie because I really felt like my skin is softer and more moisturized than ever.

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I’m so happy about the feel of my face and I’m excited to see the results after consuming these products! I mix the oil and Glass Skin Cream together because the oil’s scent is so strong. And voila, there’s the results in just the first use!

I’ve also ordered their other products, like their Potion Balm, Tomato Serum, and Watermelon Shocker soap. I also wanted to try their Sorcerer’s Cream for my underarms but they’re still out of stock.

I was also able to recommend it to my mom and cousins! My mom’s currently using their Aloe Vera Skin Saver Gel and Tomato Serum (that’s why I ordered the serum because I saw her using it and it also smelled great!) while my cousins are using their Micellar Water.

You guys should check them out at skinpotionsph.com! They have the cutest yet affordable and effective products when it comes to pampering your skin. They also sell makeup, so for all the makeup junkies out there, this one’s also for you.

Book Review: Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler

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Title: Why We Broke Up

Author: Daniel Handler

Art: Maira Kalman

Date Published: December 27, 2011

Number of Pages: 354

Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance

Synopsis:

I’m telling you why we broke up, Ed. I’m writing it in this letter, the whole truth of why it happened.

Min Green and Ed Slaterton are breaking up, so Min is writing Ed a letter and giving him a box. Inside the box is why they broke up. Two bottle caps, a movie ticket, a folded note, a box of matches, a protractor, books, a toy truck, a pair of ugly earrings, a comb from a motel room, and every other item collected over the course of a giddy, intimate, heartbreaking relationship. Item after item is illustrated and accounted for, and then the box, like a girlfriend, will be dumped.

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Book Mail: Quarantine Edition

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Nine weeks into quarantine and I finally made my first online purchase and, yes, they are books and I am so happy! So it went like this, I was browsing through my Facebook feed one weekend which mainly consist of the usual memes, some of my friends’ rants or food they had for lunch, and whatnot when I stumbled upon this post from one of the bookish groups that I am a member of. This person, who is also a member of the group, was decluttering her shelves and decided to sell some of her books. When I saw the titles of the books she were selling, I immediately sent her a message to reserve the books under my name. It was actually an easy transaction because she made a Shopee link for the specific titles that I will be buying and also agreed for me to pay via COD (Cash On Delivery).

So what are the titles that I got, exactly? Continue reading

Eureka! Moment #3: Dalgona Coffee

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If you’re following me on Twitter or Instagram you would probably know that I love coffee. My day wouldn’t be complete without drinking a cup of coffee in the morning, not only does it keep me awake, it also gives me the energy to get things done.

At this time, I couldn’t get may usual Starbucks or Tim Hortons or Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf fix because of obvious quarantine reasons. I intensely miss having a cup of Starbucks’ Caramel Macchiato (sometimes White Chocolate Mocha) or Tim Hortons’ infamous iced coffee with your choice of flavoring (i.e., caramel, mocha, or vanilla).

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Love in the Time of Corona

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In the past four weeks, the digital screens have taken over the world.

It was five weeks ago when the government enforced the community quarantine in my area, but to most of us, it already feels like a lifetime ago. Most of our usual activities like meetings, lunch dates, happy hours, and even play dates have been reduced through the digital screens.

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Our Common Ground: Hope

It is in situations like this that we find beauty in the things that we used to take for granted — in things that were once present and constant. The irony of it all is that we, human beings, become so used to our surroundings that we tend to fail at appreciating the beauty that behold us. This pandemic is a huge reminder that we should give importance to the little things in our life because everything could be taken away from us in one fell swoop.

This situation made me realize how much I miss Makati; its streets that are usually packed with cars, the sidewalks that are filled with people rushing to work, the coffee shops that have long lines, the malls that I was so used to roam around during lunch breaks with my boyfriend and a lot more.

But amidst this pandemic, I know that there is hope. A desperate feeling within our hearts — our hearts that are eager to do something, to go places, and to start anew. An invisible contract within our souls to start living a better life because it is never too late to start over.

Reading Shamelessly

In my country, being a bully is a thing when you’re in elementary. Back in the day, a lot of kids think that bullying gives them power and confidence which allows them to make the rules and trample on everyone who gets in their way. I wasn’t very popular, and some of my classmates made fun of me just for the sake of having someone to make fun of. I know I’m not the only person in the world who experienced this, but that doesn’t make me feel better. If anything, thinking about it and all those kids who’ve gone through the same thing saddens me even more.

Those elementary days were a tough phase for most of us. At the time, it used to make me sad, heck, I even come home crying on some days. However, I found solace in books. My books were the ones who stuck by me during those rough years of my life. I read a lot of Goosebumps, Nancy Drew, and Hardy Boys back then and they made me happy.

A couple of years later, one of those Scholastic Book Fairs was held in our school for the first time (which became an annual bookish event in our campus), and I was introduced to other genres. I stumbled upon Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling and up to this day, I am so happy that I picked it up all those years ago because it not only got me into reading fantasy and dystopian books, it also gave me the opportunity to travel and enter different countries and worlds without moving my feet.

Then, one day, I stumbled upon a box of all of my mom’s and aunt’s old books which consists of those little Sweet Valley High and Babysitters Club books along with some of Nicholas Sparks novels. I started reading them and was introduced to a new genre and an entirely different perspective.

At a young age, I was completely in love with chick lit. It instantly became on of my favorites. There were times when I would stay up so late reading books, bawling my eyes out because of how a Nicholas Sparks novel ended and I found myself wanting to read more and more books — I just couldn’t get enough. To this day, Nicholas Sparks is still my all-time favorite author when it comes to the contemporary romance genre.

Given that I was one of the target of bullies when I was in elementary, I didn’t have a lot of friends. Some of them even made fun of me because I liked reading books, called me a nerd, a dork, and other awful things. At some point, I stopped bringing my books in school. It was terrible but I never really let go of reading because why would I? They are my escape from this cruel world.

The few friends that I have wasn’t really that into reading so I didn’t have anyone to share my insights and feelings with. In high school, I decided to never let anyone bully me again. I did not turn into a bully myself, but I found the courage to talk back to people who say bad things about me. I managed to gain a bigger group of friends who I’m still friends with up to this day and the most important thing is most of them liked to read novels, too.

It was in the end of my high school years that I found out about John Green, Jenny Han, Paulo Coelho, and so many other authors. Then I lost track of the years. I read and devoured so many books in those years until college — until today.

To be honest, I would like to thank those bullies in my elementary years because if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have found out about the comfort and joy that books bring — I wouldn’t have fallen in love with reading. How about you? What’s that one bookish story you will never forget? What made you read books? Do you still remember the first book you’ve ever read? Tell me in the comments, I’d love to engage in your bookish journey.

Also, here are some links that I enjoyed reading online in the past couple of weeks of quaratine-ing:

 

Book Review: You by Caroline Kepnes

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Title: You

Author: Caroline Kepnes

Date Published: September 25, 2014

Number of Pages: 422

Publisher: Atria/Emily Bestler Books

Genre: Contemporary, Thriller, Mystery

Synopsis:

When a beautiful, aspiring writer strides into the East Village bookstore where Joe Goldberg works, he does what anyone would do: he Googles the name on her credit card.

There is only one Guinevere Beck in New York City. She has a public Facebook account and Tweets incessantly, telling Joe everything he needs to know: she is simply Beck to her friends, she went to Brown University, she lives on Bank Street, and she’ll be at a bar in Brooklyn tonight—the perfect place for a “chance” meeting.

As Joe invisibly and obsessively takes control of Beck’s life, he orchestrates a series of events to ensure Beck finds herself in his waiting arms. Moving from stalker to boyfriend, Joe transforms himself into Beck’s perfect man, all while quietly removing the obstacles that stand in their way—even if it means murder. Continue reading

26 Titles Since Year 1

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Photo taken by: JNVQ

It’s my birthday today, and this quarantine kind of sucks because I can’t celebrate it with the one person I would have loved to spend it with but I just keep in mind that this is all for the best. We need to stay separated for a while now, so that we can spend more birthdays together in the future.

For the past couple of years, I’ve been doing blog posts about the lessons I’ve learned in my x number of years here on Earth. This year, I thought that maybe I could tweak the concept a little because to be honest, I’m running out of lessons to take note of. Not that I do not learn new things anymore, but it’s just so hard to jot them down year after year. Also, to be honest, I feel like most of the lessons I write were carried over from the past year. So yeah, that concept kinda gets boring in time.

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