Posted on 09/26/2014 by Lenn

My greatest frustration about myself is that I never really know how to control my feelings. When I love you, I love you all the way. It’s like, I always wear my heart on my sleeve for people to see and throw the most beautiful words possible for me to get too attached and when I do, they suddenly turn into a whole different person and I am left shattered and hopeless, gasping for air and love that I once thought was there.

And the worst part? Heartbreak after heartbreak, I still fall for the same cycle, the same scenario in hopes that maybe, just maybe, this one’s different. But they never really are.

Heart VS Brain

Posted on 07/25/2014 by Lenn

A lot of people kept saying that you should listen to your brain instead of your heart, because following your heart usually just leads you to getting hurt and taken for granted. But I’ve always admired the heart most, people may say that always listening to your heart would lead you nowhere and that you’re stupid for always chasing someone who doesn’t really appreciate all the efforts you did for them. But on the other hand, did anyone ever thought about how stronger the heart is?

The brain would usually tell you to stop because you’re going to get hurt, because you’re not going to get what you want and you’re just wasting your time on things or people that doesn’t even care about you. But the heart knows about that too, that the people you’re wasting time on doesn’t really appreciate anything you do, but it still goes on. It still chooses to love them, it still keeps going no matter how shattered it already is, because the heart is strong enough to chase after the things and people that it beats for while the brain kept telling you things to back out because it’s always usually just scared. The brain doesn’t want to go through challenges while the heart is selfless enough to do everything even if it means being broken.

Six Rules for Newly Weds

Posted on 07/05/2014 by Lenn

Always say ‘I love you’ to each other.

Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.

Say at least one compliment to your partner everyday.

Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.

If one of you has to win an argument, let it be the maid.

Never bring up past mistakes when in an argument, it will only worsen the situation.

I’ve attended a wedding today and the bride’s father included this on his speech. It really actually made sense even if he made a joke about some of it.

Posted on 01/28/2014 by Lenn

For so long, I kept myself away from people. I forced myself to keep everything bottled up inside for somewhere along the way, I lost it. I stopped trusting people because I don’t know who the real ones are anymore. They keep hiding behind their masks.

I learned to keep everything to myself. To just sleep through the night with all these thoughts, with all the monsters in my head. I swear it’s getting worse, the monsters are getting bigger and they keep feeding themselves with all the things inside my head. I don’t know, maybe I’ll keep losing it until there’s nothing left of me.

Insurmountable

Posted on 06/25/2013 by Lenn

I keep on saying that my dream is to inspire the world with my words, and now, I realized that I keep saying them whenever someone asks me, “What do you want to do that will truly make you happy?”. Yet I don’t even think I did something remarkable through my words that could at least inspire a few people.

Sometimes, when I’m alone, my thoughts drift to things and I am filled with thoughts to say and write, but I seem to lack the courage to let people know about it because I’m afraid that I might not be able to put the right words together to inspire them or to even make them read it.

Sometimes, it’s when I do not intend to write that the words simply fall naturally good together. And usually, that side of me appears when I am alone and in a daze, at night when I am the only person awake, when I think and even when I read. That part of me comes out without me knowing and intending to.

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Put all the negativity aside and make room for all the positive things in life. There maybe tons of ups and downs but always put in mind that despite and in spite of everything, never ever give up. Never lose hope, because everything will be okay. In time.

Yes, it is easier said than done, but all you have to do is have faith and always embrace life’s grotesqueness to find your way to the happiness you have long been searching for.

Never forget that God has reasons, and whatever His reason may be, put your trust on Him for He knows what He’s doing. Smile and do your best!

Source: dustyrpomises

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Whenever I sit in the library, I always notice the sunset. I love staring at this picture I took of the Magallanes village because it brings peace to me, it makes me reminisce. I remember all the things that happened over the years of studying in that college, how I met different people, which I now call my friends. I remember our usual ‘tambay sessions’ at the parking lot, how we enjoy the heat of the sun during lunch breaks and the cold and cozy weather during December. And as I reminisce, I realized that those are the things I am going to miss in the next two terms of internship. Ahhh, APC. It has been 3 years since I stepped in your premises. Time flies real fast.

Source: dustypromises

Goodbye, 2012

Posted on 12/31/2012 by Lenn

Another year is about to end, but that does not mean that it is the end of everything. In just a few hours 2012 will be part of our history. In 2013, do what you want to do for you, for your happiness and for the people you love. Make the best out of everything that goes along the way. Be what you want to be, change for the better, learn from the past and always be happy.

2012 has been one heck of a roller coaster ride to all of us. As for me, I have gained and lost things and people, I have learned how to cherish everything while I still have them. I have cried a river of tears, but I have collected an ocean of smiles and laughter. Whatever I have lost, I know that God has a purpose and He has a better plan for me. With all that, I am very much thankful to the Lord our God for all the blessings and challenges He has given me, I realized that He trusts me so much for giving me all those problems that I have encountered and now conquered.

Right now, I am ready for a fresh start. And I hope you guys are too! Let us all welcome 2013 and thank God for giving each of us another year to live and improve ourselves. Smile as 2013 unfolds in front of us. ♥

Happy New Year, readers.

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Life is not about where you go, but who you travel with. The journey wouldn’t be worth it without the people who will make the whole run happy. You will never make it there without the people who helped you get there. So take a deep breath, appreciate life and the things around you, and most importantly, appreciate and love the people who never left you along the way.

♥

Source: dustypromises

Add a text post.

Posted on 12/04/2012 by Lenn

In a span of a month or two, I have realized a lot about life. I realized that not everyone will understand you, sometimes you need to understand them as well. I learned that pleasing everyone all at once is pretty much impossible in a world like ours.

I have always wanted to patch things up. I mean, that was as soon as I realized that I have grown apart from the people I have loved. I have always wanted to fix and find the broken pieces. But for some reason, I found out that I did not only grew apart from them, but they have learned to dislike me, or maybe even hate. It wasn’t easy for me to have found that out at first. I have always thought that friendship is about talking things over, about understanding and patching things up. But I guess not.

No, I am not putting all the blame on them. Because I know that I am also at fault. The only thing that have hurt me─my feelings─is that they never tried to talk or ask me what happened to me. I will accept all the painful words if there ever will be, I honestly will. Just as long as they say it in front of me. To my face. Not through statuses or tweets. I want that more than what is currently happening. I have never said something against them behind their back, I have never posted a single thing against them online, because I thought everything was fine between us.

Perhaps, this is His way of making me realize everything, including my own mistakes. And to realize that I have earned better things despite the unbelievably turbulent events in my life. And that I have changed for the better, as to what the people around me have said. A lot of people have asked me why I didn’t do anything to defend myself, why I’ve let them broadcast stuff online but instead kept silent about it. I truly respect the friendship we once shared, and that is the main reason why I did not even try to defend or say something that I know will hurt them even when I know a lot.

I have never answered their tweets and statuses with another status or tweet because I know that it will only worsen the situation. But recently, I have had enough. It was just too much. I mean, this is not high school. If they have a problem with me, why include my other friends? My friends have always been quiet even when they have noticed that there is a problem. I don’t think that I can still at least try to understand anymore. I am tired of always being the one who tries to understand.

Lenn of Spades ♠

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