Category Archives: Personal

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For so long, I kept myself away from people. I forced myself to keep everything bottled up inside for somewhere along the way, I lost it. I stopped trusting people because I don’t know who the real ones are anymore. They keep hiding behind their masks.

I learned to keep everything to myself. To just sleep through the night with all these thoughts, with all the monsters in my head. I swear it’s getting worse, the monsters are getting bigger and they keep feeding themselves with all the things inside my head. I don’t know, maybe I’ll keep losing it until there’s nothing left of me.

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Whenever I sit in the library, I always notice the sunset. I love staring at this picture I took of the Magallanes village because it brings peace to me, it makes me reminisce. I remember all the things that happened over the years of studying in that college, how I met different people, which I now call my friends. I remember our usual ‘tambay sessions’ at the parking lot, how we enjoy the heat of the sun during lunch breaks and the cold and cozy weather during December. And as I reminisce, I realized that those are the things I am going to miss in the next two terms of internship. Ahhh, APC. It has been 3 years since I stepped in your premises. Time flies real fast.

Source: dustypromises

Goodbye, 2012

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Another year is about to end, but that does not mean that it is the end of everything. In just a few hours 2012 will be part of our history. In 2013, do what you want to do for you, for your happiness and for the people you love. Make the best out of everything that goes along the way. Be what you want to be, change for the better, learn from the past and always be happy.

2012 has been one heck of a roller coaster ride to all of us. As for me, I have gained and lost things and people, I have learned how to cherish everything while I still have them. I have cried a river of tears, but I have collected an ocean of smiles and laughter. Whatever I have lost, I know that God has a purpose and He has a better plan for me. With all that, I am very much thankful to the Lord our God for all the blessings and challenges He has given me, I realized that He trusts me so much for giving me all those problems that I have encountered and now conquered.

Right now, I am ready for a fresh start. And I hope you guys are too! Let us all welcome 2013 and thank God for giving each of us another year to live and improve ourselves. Smile as 2013 unfolds in front of us. ♥

Happy New Year, readers. 

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In a span of a month or two, I have realized a lot about life. I realized that not everyone will understand you, sometimes you need to understand them as well. I learned that pleasing everyone all at once is pretty much impossible in a world like ours.

I have always wanted to patch things up. I mean, that was as soon as I realized that I have grown apart from the people I have loved. I have always wanted to fix and find the broken pieces. But for some reason, I found out that I did not only grew apart from them, but they have learned to dislike me, or maybe even hate. It wasn’t easy for me to have found that out at first. I have always thought that friendship is about talking things over, about understanding and patching things up. But I guess not.

No, I am not putting all the blame on them. Because I know that I am also at fault. The only thing that have hurt me─my feelings─is that they never tried to talk or ask me what happened to me. I will accept all the painful words if there ever will be, I honestly will. Just as long as they say it in front of me. To my face. Not through statuses or tweets. I want that more than what is currently happening. I have never said something against them behind their back, I have never posted a single thing against them online, because I thought everything was fine between us.

Perhaps, this is His way of making me realize everything, including my own mistakes. And to realize that I have earned better things despite the unbelievably turbulent events in my life. And that I have changed for the better, as to what the people around me have said. A lot of people have asked me why I didn’t do anything to defend myself, why I’ve let them broadcast stuff online but instead kept silent about it. I truly respect the friendship we once shared, and that is the main reason why I did not even try to defend or say something that I know will hurt them even when I know a lot.

I have never answered their tweets and statuses with another status or tweet because I know that it will only worsen the situation. But recently, I have had enough. It was just too much. I mean, this is not high school. If they have a problem with me, why include my other friends? My friends have always been quiet even when they have noticed that there is a problem. I don’t think that I can still at least try to understand anymore. I am tired of always being the one who tries to understand.

Remoteness

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I can stand talking to those people that I know says something behind my back, those people who has never been really my “friend”.

But when it comes to those people whom I least expect to do such, I can’t stand talking to them unless badly needed. I can’t even look at them for a long time, because it hurts. It hurts to know that the ones whom you’ve trusted so much, the ones whom you thought will never do it to you, actually did. I have the urge to stay away, to back off — to distance myself from them. I have been remote in some ways.

Life has always been like this. As soon as happiness gets to you, you should ready yourself for something that will sadden you. Life has a tendency of fucking things up when you’re at your most happy state.

This is a very awful post for a Sunday evening. I’m sorry.

I’ve always wanted to take up Journalism

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When I was a kid, I wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer someday. But everything changed when I entered high school, I still remember how our English teacher required each of us to have and write on a diary daily for the whole year. And without it, our clearance wouldn’t be signed at the end of the academic year. I remember how I complained on why we need to do such. But after writing for days, I’ve learned to love what I was doing and I realized that I wanted to write. My opinions, feelings and thoughts about a certain topic. But most of all, I wanted to write for other people, I wanted to make a difference, to inspire the whole world. And from then on, I knew I wanted to be a Journalist.

Only, my parents didn’t have the same mind set as I have about this, they have always been concerned about my future job and the money I could have earned if I took up a much better course. And since I don’t have much of a choice, because it’s their money that I’ll be using for college, I am now an Information Technology student and it gets harder everyday, I’ve been forcing this course to like me and I’ve also been forcing myself to like it for three years now. It has always been hard for me to put my heart in this course when I should be out there, writing.