Today, I turn the same age as my birthdate which makes this year as my golden year. I never knew about this until my cousin told me a couple of days ago that that’s what it’s called and it all just clicked — this year has been really good to me so far. I know the first quarter of 2022 is only about to end, but I really felt that 2022 is going to be a year of redemption for me! I know that whatever it is that’s happening in my life right now, my successes and happiness is a result of everything I’ve worked hard for in the past years, but it’s still nice to think that the universe is conspiring enough for me to be as happy as I can be.
With that, I would like to share an open letter to my 14-year-old self:
I know what’s running inside your mind — you’re probably thinking what you will be in 10, 15, 20 years from now. To tell you the truth, I still don’t know the answer to that, but this I’m sure of: No matter how confusing and complicated life may seem is for you, it will get better. It may take a while and it may feel like everything is just routine, that nothing ever changes, that you will always feel left out, alone, stupid, and without purpose. It will hurt and there are times that you will lose hope, just waking up and waiting for the day to be over with.
But I want you to know that I am proud of you and that I am and will always be grateful for you. Thank you for not giving up and for trying to get ahold of that small hope, that small, faint light. If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t be where I am. I hope I can travel through time and tell you that it will all be worth it, but we’ve watched too many time travelling films to know that that won’t do any good in our timeline (haha), so I’m writing this instead — to remind me of all that things I had to go through as a child, as a teen, and as a young adult. I know that there would probably be more challenges in life, but I just wanted you to know that as of this moment, as of writing, I am completely and genuinely at peace and happy with how far I’ve come.
And as I’ve written before, I am proud of all of my past selves because without all of them, I wouldn’t have learned all these lessons that I now carry as a guide. At the time, you may feel like it’s the end, but 14 years later, you’re going to come across that memory and maybe cringe a little, but you’ll also laugh at it knowing that it was just one stupid thing and that anything like that could and would never be able to dim your glow.
So to my 14-year-old self, go on. Be reckless, get hurt, but don’t ever give up, because down the road, you’re going to turn into a strong woman who now knows how to make sure that she is heard and someone who fights for what she knows is right. There are still a lot of things to improve on at this point, but we’ve also come a long way and that’s something to celebrate about.
Your 28-year-old self